to vent or not to vent.

i have a rule on my blog these days: no blogging after 10pm. 

it serves 2 purposes.
1. makes me go to bed.
2. keeps me from being emotional online.

i decided that since i'm not emotional at the moment, i'd let it slide this time.

i encountered something today that caught me off guard.  i upset someone close to me
by venting a frustration, even though it had nothing to do with them directly OR really
was a HUGE issue.  nevertheless, it upset them...and possibly another party...and as they said, may even have an effect on my husband.  so that got me thinking about what i said and how it could possibly have hurt them.  so, i asked my husband tonight if what i was venting about was upsetting him, too. 

he said NO. 

good deal. 
that's all i need to know.
now i can go on venting.

i have facebook and this blog for me, not for you. 
[the photos are for you.  that's it.]

they both keep me sane. 
they keep me grounded. 
most importantly, they keep me healthy.
why would the computer keep me healthy, you ask?

they keep me ulcer free.

i went through a 5 month period before jus and i were married of keeping things bottled up.  i was having a terrible time at work, had work related nightmares each night, fought to keep my job at one point...just an absolute mess.  a job that i had once loved enough to come in an hour before my shift started and stay an hour after it ended, had become a place i loathed and couldn't wait to get away from.  however, i never spoke about my problems.  i let them eat away my insides until i got really sick and had to go to the er.

i had an ulcer. 
let me tell you, those things hurt. 
a lot.

after that happened, i was put on medicine & had to be careful of what i ate so i didn't get sick.  watching your diet is worse than bottling things up, so i started opening up, talking about things that bothered me more often.  pretty soon it became second nature.  i don't wait for anyone to say, "is something bothering you?" anymore.  i just start venting.

now, i am grateful to have facebook and my blog to use for the purpose of venting.

on top of that, i'm a very open person.  if you ask me a question, i will give a detailed answer(unless it's military related and i may not be at liberty to).  i've always felt that the more people know about you, the better they can understand you.  and maybe my venting is for me, but what i'm venting about happens to EVERYONE.  therefore, people can identify.  they can also see that others have problems just like them and they are not alone.  to many, seeing that everyone is not perfect is a major comfort. 

if you've read my venting, do not be alarmed or concerned about me.  typically as soon as i post an issue, the thought of it will soon leave my head & i won't worry about it again.

just to be sure, you all do know that you can't control everything, right?


my mom use to read the same verse to us on a nightly basis.  when anyone has ever asked for a favorite verse, it's always the one i give them.

"He will keep in perfect peace, all those who trust in Him, whose thoughts turn off unto the Lord.  Trust in the Lord always, for in the Lord Jehovah is your everlasting strength."          Isaiah 26:3-4


i love you who worry about us,
but don't waste your time letting it bother you.

i'm taken care of.

keeping busy.

i'm still fighting with my computer.

a lot.

however, i was able to get some photos up today!

it's a good day.

my brother-in-law says my computer has a 'fake virus'.

it sends a message to you from a virus software

business and wants you to purchase the software.

i had one come up last month.

i didn't purchase it, cause i'm cheap and we

already have the software.

either way, it's making me hate my computer.

another annoyance is the boy.

and his growing.

darn these kids and their growth spurts!

they're both is sz 6 clothes now.

all he wants to do is eat & he's picked up napping

in the afternoon.

which means he won't sleep at night.

the plus side?

they chose to grow when i actually have a little

extra cash to get them clothes.

oh, and new shoes!

an xw foot is not cheap and is getting harder to find

shoes for!

aside from fighting w the computer and growth spurts,

i've been doing some rearranging/spring cleaning.

the kids room was tackled today,

the office over the weekend.

i am rehab'ing emily's dresser.

the drawers are broken and they don't slide.

it'll be open shelves when i'm done

hopefully, with some wood cutting help from tari's

'man servant'(that's what my friend and i call

our husbands). :)

the kids both received a journal to fill while daddy is

out of town.

emily was very excited,

but she has no concept of 'just one page today'.

i have to pry it away from her or give her

more paper to color on.

her photo is of us at the "arport",

which she sounded out and spelled. :)

oh, and i have big hands.

more like 'edward scissorhands' if you ask me.

thank you, daughter.

i love that her brother, who in real life is

the same size as her and often passes as her twin,

is so tiny in her drawings.

aiden only has two things on his mind:

eating and star wars.

here's the star wars part.

even his family drawings these days have

us holding lightsabers.

lol.

technical difficulties.

for some reason my blog does not like me anymore. 
i haven't been able to copy and paste on here for months and now i can't add photos.  that's a HUGE deal for me.  i NEED photos.  so i'm looking for a new space for my blog to reside. so far wordpress and typepad are my options.  if you have any ideas, throw them my way.

since i can't post pics, you can head over to my photography page and view the poster i've been working on for my house. 

'hell and back again'.

during my third trip to base this week, one of the navy
reserve staff handed a new military spouse magazine to me as we were chatting.  it's a free magazine and i usually pick one up and thumb through it, writing down links that pertain to my needs/ombudsman resources.  i found a small ad talking about a military documentary about marines in afghanistan called 'hell and back again', and read that it was up for an oscar.  i checked it out tonight on netflix streaming...amazing movie.  if you want to know more of what the military does during a deployment or after they're injured, watch it.  and yes, it's war time, so there is language involved(mostly when bullets are flying), and there are 2 graphic parts(the worst is in the last 10 mins).  it's not up for "feel good movie of the year", so keep an open mind when you watch it.  it's moving, gritty, honest, painful, and all around humbling.
it's on dvd, as well, and will also air on pbs in may.

you can check out the trailer for it here and a review of it here.

japan & birthday cake.

today is "japan's" birthday.  we talked for a bit this morning before she went to bed(they're 14 hrs ahead).  i love that we just pick up where we left off, never skipping a beat.

happy birthday, japan. 
your package should be there soon...that is if the mailman can get through your 2 feet of snow. :)

d-day at the whyte house.

the boy is officially active duty & away on orders.

the last few days have been very

chaotic for me, as my head just had not been

together.

no crying, just not remembering what i was

suppose to get done.

friday, our church had 'parent's night out',

so the kids went to play for 4 hours

while jus & i went to see 'the vow'.

emily helped us take photos before our date.

last night the kids had a pillow fight with daddy.
it was an extreme pillow fight, for sure. :)

and finally deployment day.

and for my super emotional sister, no, i didn't cry. 

justin's battle buddy, strunk, also deployed with him.
i'm grateful for him, since i know justin will be laughing a lot with him around. :)

see you soon, baby!

half of february.

i am incredibly behind in everything these days.

cleaning up valentine's day cards strewn about my house.

finishing up my ombudsman training.

finalizing things before the boy deploys.

i have so much information in my head,

but no idea what to do first.

here's some of our month of february so far.

our annual trip to st. joseph, mo was a little snowy.

the snow on the ground had melted, but they were still able to find some along the

house to have a snow ball fight with!

the last day of the beard for a whole year.

ice skating rink with the kids.  heidi had to sit that one out.  still wasn't cleared from surgery.

ja & jus had been up early for saturday morning basketball with the boys.
this was early evening naptime for them.

as we were getting ready to head home.

date night with daddy to see 'beauty & the beast' in the theater.
aiden went to a wsu basketball game w/him the night before, but em & i were out
dress shopping, so i didn't get any game photos.

justin received 'junior sailor of the year' for the 2nd year.

justin's deployment send off party.

two of high school friends drove in to town for it.

(photo courtesy of amber)

[we also had justin's youngest nephew's bday party,

but i have yet to edit those photos!

agh!]

aiden's valentine's day party.  he was the prayer helper.  the class prayed together,
but i could still hear him saying, "God'er Fa'der. God'er Fa'der, once again, once again, we have come to tank you, we have come to tank you, Ah-ha-men. Ah-ha-men."

the kids at emily's school party.  the boy fit right in there with all of her friends.